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Peter Pan would never have flown out that window had he known where the internet could transport him.

With the virtual world opening entirely new possibilities, Peter has infinite choice. Forget Captain Hook and the crazy crew (I get this character a little confused with the movie, featuring a certain Jack Sparrow and his arch nemesis, so forgive me if I digress), adrift on the shark-infested deep.

There are a horde of dastardly villains and scary places to visit in cyberspace.

With the internet at his fingertips, Peter would never have had to leave the safety of his room. He could have stayed in his comfy PJ’s. And Tinkerbelle?

Not to ruin a perfectly innocent love story here, but I ask you. How was this match ever going to work? Excuse me for laboring the point, but these two come from totally different backgrounds. Not only that, in their case, size really does matter.

So where does Peter fit in this Never Never land of the cyber world? He’s in control of the joy-stick of course. Yes for the modern Peter, there are thousands of different game plans to venture into (including a tussle with the Captain, if you know where to look).

Tinkerbelle is there too disguised in, well, pretty much any disguise the boy can dream up. And quite a few he shouldn’t.

Except that Tink, if I can call her that, doesn’t need wings anymore. All that fluttering must have tired the poor girl out.

She’s now a Super fairy, able to perform feats of magic at the flick of a game switch. The new Tink kicks butt!

She’s still slight at a size 6, but hey… those geek programmers can’t handle a Tinkerbelle that’s a size16, just yet. As I was saying, Tink now weighs 85 pounds and is built like anyone’s fantasy.

Okay, I admit it. I want a figure like hers. She still wears light weight, figure hugging outfits, now teamed with heavy combat boots. Her wand has morphed into an AK47.

A rain of empty cartridges clattering to the ground, or a shower of sparks from some device she’s just let loose, now substitutes for the obligatory fairy dust.

She no longer sips on nectar of the gods, was that in the book version or the movie version?

Tinkerbelle is a modern, caring for her body, sort of fairy. She consumes a low fat, low carb, super vitamin-boosted, protein shake.

This allows her to run through blasted streets dealing to the enemy with a samurai sword slash here, a ninja kick to the proverbial, there.

She can climb over mountains of rubble, swim shark-infested deeps and any number of other states in the game plan, yet hardly break a sweat.

While doing all of that, she has an enormous “baddie- made” (they’re always made by the baddies) tank destroyer, slung over her shoulders. That is how we know she’s the new Super fairy.

Those things must weigh as much as she does. Yet she still manages to fire at will, pick up a wounded Peter along the way and even patch him up a little before the next level.

With all this hard work that Tink gets to do, there hardly seems anything for Peter to get his muscles stretching over. He doesn’t need to. The joystick is the new sword, one which Peter, via Tink, gets to wield against the bad guy with practiced ease.

Today, Peter no longer wears horn-rimmed glasses because his parents have given him enough pocket money for contacts. He has to take them out periodically as the computer screen is murder on the eyes.

He occasionally loses them in the shambles of his own room, but that’s soon fixed. As long as he can squint, he’s ready and able to handle any adventure that Tink can throw at him.

A place in Never Never Land is no longer the realm of a privileged few. It has become everyone’s virtual reality. Explore this adventure playground made available to boys and girls everywhere, courtesy of the Internet.

Cautionary Note:

Playing in the new Never Never Land is highly addictive. The author takes no responsibility for any such behaviour. At the first sign, please hang up your sticks and consult with Wendy.