Torment, degradation, paper cuts and all the other beautiful things that come with the job hunt. A bit of a rant, really.
I suppose it’s only appropriate for me to give a brief history before I begin.
Eighteen months ago I was at the top position I could achieve in the company I worked for without being a partner when, without warning, I was replaced by someones gardener -and when I say gardener I literally mean that he was working in our Md’s garden the day before- in order for the company to maintain their employment equity quota and cut down on costs. Since then I have stubbornly stuck to my guns and done the job hunt the old fashioned way; I have signed up with every employment agency I have been able to find in the directory, covered my fingers in paper cuts printing and stapling my resume, and worn out countless pairs of shoes and socks physically walking from door to door in every commercial and business district in a 50km radius in order to hand them out. Then -mainly because being rejected via email is far less depressing- I stepped it up to the electronic method.
This leads us to one month ago. Finally I had given up. Finally, after sending several dozen emails with my resume attached to potential employers, I started to Google slightly less “conventional” work. Things that wouldn’t require me to leave the house -or even wear pants, for that matter- because let’s be honest, it will be no simple task to seamlessly intergrate into a professional enviroment again after this amount of time. This is when, after typing in every search I could imagine into the Google search bar, I came across an ad for “online data capturing” positions. In the situation I’m in I found myself thinking “THIS IS IT”. For a split second I was convinced that I had found a solution to my problem. I immediately signed up. Filled out their registration form, sent it in and and with in minutes had an email welcoming me as the newest member of staff. This was my first clue. So I casually strolled back to the companies site and began reading through their history, mission statement and a vast number of testimonies of people thanking them for all the money – this was my second clue- then came the clincher. While in the members’ area looking at the pictures of all the top earners. . .I found Matt Damon. Somehow, with all their effort to make the site look authentic, some joker thought that nobody would notice this. At least I got a good laugh from this as I continued to brows and found a number of lesser known actors in this list too.
With the great potential to outsource your mundane tasks online today how hard could it possibly be for someone to find an appropriate position? Well, as it turns out, it’s far more difficult than I had imagined. Okay. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s not out there. You can simply punch in “making money online” and get 112,000,000 results and in there somewhere, surely, there has to be some poor sap that’s trying to get someone to just update his client list. The problem is filtering out all the smut, peddlers, pyramid schemes, MLM and good old fashioned scams. With this being said I have also found hundreds of ways to really make good money with marketing online but what about those of us that just want to be stay at home drones? I believe in leaving the marketing to the pros, just let me handle your paperwork or maybe proofread your ads before you publish them online -this is another thing I have noticed that is missing on the internet; a third grade understanding of the english language- or ANYTHING that isn’t going to lead to another paper cut.
Ever positive, my search continues. I will remain optimistic that, somewhere out there, I will find a way to provide for -and still have time to spend with- my loved ones.
Another thought crossed my mind. I don’t believe I will ever be able to make up for the amount of resumes I have sent out in hard copy but I’ve decided that, starting in the spring, I will try my best. I will plant a tree for every legitimate and viable stay at home work opportunity I may discover during my adventures in this beautifully mysterious and dangerous virtual world. So far, it seems, I owe one small shrubbery.