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CNN recently reported a horrendous crime where a pregnant mother was found dead in a stranger’s home. She had gone there to look at baby clothing that a couple had advertised on Craigslist. There has also been a rise in reports of sex trafficking of minors, prostitution rings, and scams where by a person sends a phony money order or asks the seller to wire money to a bank. 

I’ve started selling various items on Ebay and Craigslist and was recently sent an email from someone who was interested in buying a guitar. The money orders that were sent were for more than 7 times the amount I had asked for and the instructions included sending the extra cash to a 3rd party shipping company. I had been warned of online scams and when I did some research I found that this type of scam is very common. 

While the fake money orders could be irritating and could have resulted in a loss of a sale, it was by no means dangerous to my personal safety.  However, reading all the various reports of people being murdered, beaten, and the ever present danger of teenagers meeting strangers for sex in exchange for money, or believing they are meeting another teenager for a date got me thinking about safety. 

When we are kids we’re told not to accept candy, promises of presents, and other gifts from strangers.  We’re told to not fall for the “I have a puppy, would you like to play with it?” line from strangers and go with them to their car or home.  We’re given a safe word or secret word if someone tells us that they are picking us up instead of our parents and we’re given clues as to how to know bad strangers from good strangers.  Examples of a good stranger are police officers, fire fighters, teachers, and sometimes a store clerk. Examples of bad strangers are those who try to lure you somewhere, try to entice you with things you like such as candy, toys, or a cute baby animal.

If we are so well-programmed as children to know the difference between good and bad strangers, then why as adults do we find ourselves meeting strangers off the internet to sell items without a second thought of having them come our home?

Have we tried to overcome the paranoia and sensationalism of the media and overcompensate with believing everyone is honest and good?

Have we forgotten our childhood lessons or believe that we’re invincible?

Do we toy with danger and think “It won’t happen to me?”

Whatever the reason may be that we willingly allow someone to come to our house or go to theirs when answering a craigslist ad, there are some measures we should take just in case. I’m not saying we should never meet someone new or buy something off of the internet from a stranger, but we should be aware to how to optimize our safety. 

Here are some tips from Craigslist’s site:

• Insist on a public meeting place like a cafe
• Tell a friend or family member where you’re going
• Take your cell phone along if you have one
• Consider having a friend accompany you
• Trust your instincts

You may also want to do the following:

• If you were given a phone number, you can try to do a reverse lookup. (I just tried my own cell phone number and it showed some basic information, but not my name or address)
• You can do a public search if you get their name and address at isearch.com but be aware it may not always give you the right “Jon Dough.”
• You can try a general google search of the person’s email address and see what sites they visit or are registered on.
• If you have started a dialogue with someone and they over enthusiastically want to come to your house to pick up the item, suggest meeting at a cafe. If they stop replying, then chances are it may not have been a safe exchange. 

I recently did have someone come to the house to buy something from me. However, I made sure someone else was here with me. I made the meeting for early in the evening. As a seller, I willingly gave my full name, email address, and would have suggested a public place. After a few emails, the buyer did not seem to give me any weird vibes and it seemed worth taking the chance. It was fine.  The buyer was a college student and she was shy, pleasant, and was probably more nervous than I was about meeting. 

But as Craigslist suggests, trust your instincts and definitely let people know where you’re going, or bring a friend.