An intro to me and my writing style. My attempt at letting you know what you can expect from me. I will be posting regular tech related information for the beginners of the computer world. So please check it out it’s a short read with a bit of humor.
I work for a company that supplies Internet across the united states, I sit at desk that is about a foot from the person beside me. We attached to our desk’s by headset that allows me to move oh, about three feet in any direction. I take calls, from Americans….about why the Internet doesn’t work. It always amazes me the level of intellect and inability. Now I understand that people calling me aren’t computer illiterate, but most aren’t even literate. They can’t read well, they don’t follow basic instructions and of coarse they know next to nothing about the Internet or their computers as a whole.
Now I don’t know about you reading this. I assume if you have found this that you have some ability to surf the Internet Congratulations. I can also assume that if you’ve gotten this far in my rant, that you know how to read. Again Congratulations. So, we know your smarter than the forty or so people I speak to in an average day. I am glad I have found you, I want you to do something for me. I want you to inform as many people as you know that are stupid, illiterate, common sense disabled or just flat out ignorant to the world that is passing them by. I want you to let them know, I say this because I would like to assume that most stupid people don’t in fact know they are stupid. I figure if maybe we all start telling them, that they will do something about it. What do you say, lets do the nation a service.
Aside from that my whole purpose on this particular topic is to inform people on some computer basics. So I will be posting computers/Internet for imbeciles, people with no intellect should be able to understand me. As long as you know how to read you should be able to understand and maybe make sense of what I will be writing. If you are new to the Internet, or if you’ve just decided that AOL is making you dumber by the minute (which it does, they do everything backwards and when you want to use the real Internet you become a complete imbecile and it’s all their fault) If you think the big screen on your desk is in fact the computer and not the monitor.. If you think that your operating system is Microsoft XL or office 2007 or even if you think it’s Internet explorer. I am here to help you, not because I like you, but because I pity you, and I know I am going to speak to you someday on the phone and I want you to have a slight incling of what you are doing so I slit my wrists and gouge out my eyes.
So This is just an introduction to me, letting you know what I am all about. I will be posting on a regular basis. I also will be providing an email address so if you have any questions, or if you would like me to post on a particular topic. Despite the bashing of stupid people I’m a pretty nice guy and I’m just trying to help. So please I welcome your feedback, and also please be sure to check out some of the advertisements it’s what helps me keep writing. I like to make a little dough from this so if you like what you read click on a few of the ads for me.
July 9th, 2009 at 6:45 am
Hi seamore,
Love it! Love it!
I would be your nemesis. I\’m the guy who\’d be on the other end of your phone. I would be the very guy making you want to slash your wrists.
I\’m, although I say it myself, fairly intelligent, work in a fairly technical enviroment, the printing and packaging industry.I have a very good command of english, I am in fact English. I can write fairly clearly and speak fairly clearly, I get by making myself understood.
If you asked me what a monitor was, my brain would go through the dictionary and suggest, a lizard, a helper at school,
anything in fact but a screen. If you said a plug, which one? the one in the wall, the one to the multiple plug holder, one in the back of the computer?
A modem? It just would not conjure up anything. See where I\’m going? \”Do you have windows on your computer?\” \”Er, I can\’t see any.\”
Your language and your user\’s language are slightly, or even at times, vastly different. So to call people ignorant is very harsh, they probably are very ignorant of computer terminology, and sometimes english itself, but in my humble opinion computer and internet language is not based upon english at all.
My rant in my blog is the very opposite, in as much as I cannot understand a thing, when people explain about using computers in technical terms.
I know where I\’m coming from and I can see where you are coming from, but until there is a compromise somewhere in the middle we are both going to be suicidal for a long time.
Look forward to your tips for imbeciles, hope we can understand them.
All the best,
oldster.
July 9th, 2009 at 8:07 am
ROFL! This is both true and hilarious.
Get this, I am a software engineer and I know exactly what you are talking about.
I have lived in the US and am actually an Indian. I have traveled enough to know now that stupidity is infact a global phenomenon.
I was under the impression that I was on the quest to eradicate stupidity all by myself, the lone warrior. Good to have found a companion in you. LOL.
What I find so amusing yet irritating is that when people do not understand anything about the Internet or their PC/notebooks, they can’t even take the simplest of instructions. Also, I just don’t get how people don’t google, where you can get most of your issues resolved.Aaaaahhhhhh..grrrrrrrrrr.. Oops..Sorry. Hmmm
Anyway, I will be looking forward to reading your articles. Cheers!
July 9th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Okay, you do make some good points, i will give you that. When someone wants to use the internet, it goes without saying that he needs to know some basic stuff about computers. I understand it is very frustrating when you realise this isn’t the case.
However, i don’t agree with your attitude. When you call someone names, you are making him try to defend himself. And unless you stumble upon a very calm, classy person, chances are you are going to be hearing some name calling yourself. Are you prepared for that; If the answer is yes, then okay, it’s a fair game. If however the answer is no…maybe you shouldn’t dish what you can’t take.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
It is ironic that you have such distain for people that may not be as computer savvy as you.
I can see by the run-on and fragmented sentences, poor grammar, punctuation errors and poor spelling that you are obviously not a writer. If you had an editor, he or she would vomit a little in their mouth upon reading your post.
Does your utter lack of writing skill make you stupid? Does it make you ignorant?
What you perceive to be putting forth as humor is actually condescension.
I suggest that the 40 or so people you speak to each day may not be stupid at all. They may be able to follow instructions just fine. I suggest that you may have an inability to communicate instructions clearly.
No one is going to come to your posts for help with the internet or computers. People don’t like to be bashed for not knowing things.
July 13th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
If you are so smart why are you stuck at a dead end job sitting a foot away from from your co-worker. You obviously think that you are God’s gift to man becasue you are computer savvy and you cannot comprehend the fact that some people in this world find it difficult to incorporate technology into their everyday lives. Make fun of the the people that are calling you for help all you want, because in the end, 39 out of those 40 people, I gaurentee you, are living a more fulfilling life than you.
ps – work on your writing skills, they suck.