Webupon

I have been thinking a lot lately about my biggest peeves when it comes to the internet. I understand that my opinion will be unpopular among many, however I feel the true need to vent as my complaints are legitimate and shared by many internet users. These are not listed in any specific order, as everyone has their favorite peeve.

I will start with internet marketing. I will focus on the vultures who scan every bulletin board or legitimate advertising forum for emails that they compile to send you indicating that “theirs is better”. Listen up stupid…if YOUR program was better than the one I am using, why are you wasting so much precious time looking on other websites for me email address so you can scam me? Get a job. Or a life. Do you really get replies to these emails you send?

How about peeve number two?? If you send me a letter with poor spelling from a third world country claiming to be an heiress, with no way to get the money out of that country other than to “carefully choose me” because I am “so reliable and a good person”…what—- do I have a resume out there somewhere stating such? How do you know I’m not a bloodthirsty scum sucker who would love nothing more than to scam the daylights out of you? I will not reply to you. I am surprised that anyone with half a brain would, but judging from the brainless people I come into contact with every day, I am sure you do get some replies and successfully scam a few people along the way, usually bottom feeders such as yourself. Get a job. Get a life. (And for the love of God and all that’s holy, please learn to spell).

Number three on the list we all can relate to. Mass emails to your “contact list”. Chances are if it was really funny, you are the third person who sent it. I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time to forward it to the next 15 people or my corpse will rot in hell, or I will have bad luck, or I don’t love Jesus. I am sure Jesus, if he has email, doesn’t have time either. Focus your energies on taking care of people who need help. I will donate 5 bucks to the American Cancer Society, the food pantry, or a needy local person. I don’t need luck, I create my own.

Now we are moving along to number four….and I can’t really identify whether this is a peeve or a curiosity. I get DAILY offers to date men, women, martians, fat girls, fat men, and view webcams, and actually join webcam sites based on a picture someone saw of me on the internet. Am I missing something or is there REALLY a market for NAKED granny webcams?? I’m trying to keep the visual out of my mind….but GEEZ that’s just funny. I just found out I needed a penis extension, and although I am quite sure that I don’t even HAVE A penis, that if I do it is actually quite small and maybe I should be calling these people. I also need a boob job….do these people have a camera on me??? How did they ever know?

If I get one more email for a colon cleanse I will vomit….it doesn’t sound like a pleasant spa experience and anything that’s in there will come out after my next big mac, I assure you!

Last, but certainly not least, the YOU HAVE WON emails that tell you to take a survey, complete two silver, two bronze and one gold offer and then jump through 40 hoops (all of which is costing you money and time by the way)….to win that laptop, washer, trip, whatever the scam of the day is. While I think they are probably legit if you have the time, energy and money to do all of these things, I can’t begin to see where these offers would benefit me in the long run…..If I have to spend 800 dollars and complete every little thing on that offer in fine print for the next 90 days, just to get that item….forget it. I could go buy the item from a discount store and be done with it in about 35 minutes, and instantly be enjoying my new laptop or flat panel tv tonight!!

I hope that I see more postings of people out here that have had similar experiences on the internet such as myself. I also would like to warn you of the more serious phishing scams, where you get apparently legitimate emails from paypal, eBay, your bank, or credit union, asking for you to click on a link in the email and provide updated information. These emails are NEVER legitimate, and apparently the people that send them are having some success at stealing money from the unsuspecting consumer. Delete them. They are not even worth opening. If you have a question about your bank account, call your bank. If you have a question about your eBay or paypal account, log into their account directly from your browser, not through a provided link in an email. It’s your money, protect it.

And never click on the colon cleanse link.