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If there is one thing that I could say gives a distinct mark to the current generation’s writing style, it would doubtlessly be the overuse of the comma. This is a very strange discovery to make, because the opposite seems far more likely.

As the Internet becomes greater, it becomes increasing effortless to get a barrage of facts on any given subject. With more abundant information, it would seem logical that the writing style of the Internet generation would be marked with small, factual sentences. Commas have long been the paste to hold flimsy reports together when cold, hard facts are unattainable, a weak way to compensate for a weak piece of writing with seemingly fluid prose. This seems definitively counterintuitive.

As the Internet makes it easy to create a solid argument, the comma should be driven to the very brink of prose, in the same desolate corner as the semicolon, entertained only by schizophrenic pronouns as they change their masks. Instead, like kudzu or cane toads in Australia, the foul comma has thrived under the blanket of anonymity the Internet creates.

The Internet, despite its beautiful usefulness, has a cold downside. Due to the ease of attaining information, modern people are forgetting how difficult it once was to extract facts. Once upon a time, in the age of books, it could take hours to acquire the factual basis to make a point. In those days, I would imagine, a fact was something to be treasured, like spices in the ancient past.

Back in those good old days, such a fact could only be adorned with a pristine period to do it justice, the commas left hanging in the closet for when there truly was nothing solid to be found. Facts are now undervalued, as are periods. They have become common as nails. Everybody knows they’re needed, but nobody really cares. The ends of sentences are like the ends of hallways. They’re bound to come, but half of the time there are so many twists and turns first that by the time they are reached the core of the sentence is utterly lost.

Even now, I can almost feel the cold hand of the Internet on my shoulder. So easily, I could bring up my precious Google, and with enough work I could probably find some statistics, some studies, maybe even some references. I could break up my massive paragraphs and solidify my sentences. I could (God forbid) edit this little work, cut the fat out of it until all that was left were the few paltry sentences that really mean anything but fluff.

Then again, in a way it makes sense for the writings of my poor, lost generation to be rambling, to be full of commas, to be lost and pointless. After all, isn’t that what the focus of everyone is turning to? Aren’t people increasingly obsessed with meaningless entertainment, reality TV shows, devoid of an ounce of content? Isn’t reading becoming less and less popular? We don’t need writing as much anymore for anything meaningful, and so naturally its structure is beginning to decompose. Where there are periods we have commas.

Where there would be sentences we have paragraphs. Everything is being consumed in a sea of fluff. As members of a generation lost in this terrifying, massive sea, aren’t we entitled to our commas, to our lax paragraphs, to our overly brief essays free of any point but a strange, intellectual cry for help, just as overt in overuse of commas as that which is condemns?

The terrifying thing is that looking back on this, I am having difficulty determining which of these comma overuses were for effect and which have simply been ingrained in my writing style. Reading back over this, I can’t quite tell how much of it is a parody, and how much of it is dead serious. There’s something very terrifying about that.