You anxiously open your email inbox and there it is – an email from yet another prospect. The personal ad or profile you’ve posted on one of thousands of websites has caught the attention of another. You believe you’ve hit the jackpot and you’re ready to say good-bye to all of the lonely nights.
But is the personal on the other end of the line really sincere? Have you really met Prince/Princess Charming? How can you tell when this person is, for all intents and purposes, still a nameless and faceless individual?
This is the world of finding love online. The internet has brought the citizens of the world much closer together. Finding love is now just a matter of a few keystrokes. Whereas newspaper personal ads once reached only a few hundred thousand potentials, the personal ad you’ve posted online has the potential to be seen by more than 2 billion regular internet users! So, while that drastically widens your playing field and increases your chances of finding Mr./Mrs. Right it also, ironically, increases your chances of frequent bouts with heartache and frustration at the hands of devious individuals with ill intent.
How do you keep from potentially suffering a broken heart? Many times, simply asking for “Serious replies only, please!” does very little to keep the curiosity-seekers and game-players out of your inbox.
There are, however, ways to separate the serious responses form the fake ones. Many fakes give all kinds of indications of their true intentions in their first emails. Here are a few indicators that the person you’re talking to isn’t legit.
Short responses: Now, while it’s true that not all of us are blessed with a lot to say, very short responses, usually no longer than a four-lined paragraph, are almost always the main indicator that he/she isn’t serious. People who aren’t serious will be less-inclined to spend a lot of time typing up the email. Don’t buy the excuse that they’re at work and don’t have a lot of time to talk. If they’re serious, they’ll find time.
They tell you they’re curious: Yes, believe it or not, many do slip and reveal that they’re only curious but most of us fail to catch it. The most common slip of the tongue is, “I was just curious…” Another indicator of curiosity is when they say, “I wanted to see how this (personals) goes.” That’s almost always a dead giveaway.
Continuous questions: That’s because they’re just curious; curious about the kind of the people who use the personal ads. True, asking questions is part of getting to know someone but a fake’s email usually entirely consists of just questions that make you feel like you’re at a police interrogation.
Short answers: This is very common trait of a fake. They will try their best to avoid spilling details about themselves, sticking mostly to very short answers. Some will outright “forget” to answer questions entirely. If you ask a question twice and they seem to “forget” to answer heed the Fake Alert and drop them.
They have no good photographs to send: No good photographs, my behind! Anyone who makes the decision to use personal ads to meet someone should be prepared to exchange photographs at some point. And this age of digital cameras with timers it is not that difficult to take a good photo of oneself.
They won’t give their names: Now, I don’t care what corner of the globe you’re from, if the person you’re talking to refuses to give a name then it is time to delete this loser from your inbox. The name should always be the first piece of information you give about yourself. And, if they give a name, be on a lookout for phony names. One-syllable male names such as John, Ed, Ted, Bob and Bill and female names such as Jane, Mary and Sue are the most frequently used by those who wish to remain anonymous. You have my sympathy, of course, if your name really is one of those.
Happy Searching!!
Hey fantastic tips. some of the best info ive heard on using personals. thanx for the article.
I like this article. It is so frustrating to responses from guys who aren’t serious and just want something else. There are so many weirdos on the net and it helps to be able to pick them out.