Whether you are looking to buy or sell, E-Bay is a great place to start. There are serious consumers who use the site to locate hard to find items or to sell their wares and services.Then there are those who most likely have too much idle time on their hands and post bizarre and very odd items, with no intention of actually getting any bids. Or do they?
While checking out E-Bay one day I came across a few items which seemed quite bizarre. I am not sure if people post these things as a joke or if they actually believe someone is going to bid on them. A couple of the posts were novelty items which would most likely interest the practical joker. However, some were just plain strange. I’ll start with the novelty items:
Remote Control Fart Machine
Makes fifteen farting sounds. Works up to 100 feet away. Has a boom box feature to increase bass and volume. Wow! Think of the fun you could have at Grandmother’s house….
What a sight this would be! The advertiser recommends these underpants if you are sick and tired of seeing the naked squirrels scurrying about in the trees. These are 100% cotton with a three inch waistline. They are also suitable for hamsters, frogs and gerbils. There are no suggestions for catching the little critters to dress them however….
Fake Party Poop
Yes this is horribly gross looking and that is why I had to add it to this list. This fake party poop is most likely the ultimate practical joke, and the maker guarantee’s it’s natural authentic look. Measuring in at four inches long, it can be molded to fit any toilet seat. Thank goodness it is odorless or some heads would probably roll…
This is described as a realistic TSANTSA shrunken head replica. The ad states that it looks so realistic that E- Bay keeps shutting the auction down. This is definitely not something I would care to wake up to every morning. Creepy….
Used Empty Pack of Marlboro Reds
Seller states that he found this empty pack of Marlboro Reds on a street corner in the town where he lives. It comes with a letter of authenticity and a surprise bonus gift inside. He reveals that the bonus gift could be gold, silver, money or air. Ahem, I wonder what this guy has been huffing….
It seems that this auctioneer thinks he has discovered a ménage à trois in the animal cracker world, claiming these were found in this position right out of the box. I wonder how much he expects to profit from this sweet threesome? Personally, I would have been slightly amused, popped it in my mouth, washed it down with cold milk, and called it a day….
Heart Shaped Potato Chip
My question is, if someone does actually bid on this heart shaped potato chip, how the heck will it be shipped without breaking? I don’t think it is possible. If it just breaks in half, the lucky buyer might be able to use a little crazy glue to piece it back together. Otherwise, he will have to settle for his heart becoming miss matched ears….
Pregnant Gummy Bear
Sure, this is cute in a weird sort of way. I suppose it would be a great find for the enthusiastic gummy bear collector. The finder describes it as a pregnant gummy bear, but to me it looks as though it is in the final stage of delivery….
Not just any tooth, this is a molar. This person had their molars removed to make way for the wisdom teeth. I was under the impression wisdom teeth were usually taken out and the molars left in. Well I learned something new today! It sounds like this seller might need to retain whatever wisdom they possess. Suggestions for use of these molars? Necklaces! Ugh! I don’t believe I would want someone else’s tooth hanging around my neck. Aren’t shark teeth the norm for necklaces? I suppose painting it might make a difference….
And last but not least…
Now I believe I have seen everything! Due to the state of the economy, and having fallen on tough times, this man has decided to auction off his body hair. This includes arm, leg, chest, back, head and face hair. He offers to shave and ship, or if you live nearby you can come and shave him yourself. There are two areas that are off limits to this offer. He will not part with his eyelashes or butt hair.