Webupon

The first step to getting addicted to Youtube is to visit the website frequently. Keep the visits short but often. This may be difficult at first, but any worthwhile addiction is painful in the beginning. To start out, I recommend visiting Youtube once in the morning, once around noon, and once in the evening.  

It is critical not to overload yourself at this point. If you spend too much time on Youtube before your body is fully acclimated you can end up with Youtube overdose. Unfortunately, Youtube overdose is currently incurable with modern medical technology.

Once your body has acclimated to visiting Youtube a few brief times a day you are safe to lengthen those visits. Make yourself stay on the site for 10 minutes per visit for a week, then raise each visit to 15 minutes for a week, and keep on going until you can stay at the site comfortably for 1-2 hours per visit.

Having a job or family can be difficult during this process. I recommend biting the bullet and cutting all ties. Quit work and stay in a motel for a while. Don’t worry; it’s only for a month or two. It will be difficult at first, but soon you’ll forget about your job and those two beautiful children you left behind—or was it three?

After a month or two of following this program you will find that you can easily stay on Youtube for 20-23 hours at a time. And if you’ve done everything as I’ve explained those 1-4 hours not spent on Youtube will be filled with body tremors and nausea.

If you are a successful graduate of this program, congratulations! You are officially addicted to Youtube.

Next week, we’ll talk about how to become an annoying commenter on Youtube.

Stay tuned!