Webupon

This morning I was scanning through the miasma of Internet Idiocy when I stumbled across a YouTube video of the top 10 Ryan Reynolds moments. I’ve always appreciated Ryan. He’s gonna make a great Deadpool.

While I may not agree with the chosen top 10 moments in the video as Ryan’s finest, there was something that really nagged me. One of the moments, he was talking to Nathan Fillion. Like we’re talking Malcolm Reynolds here. Ryan the Hannibal King was talking to Malcolm Reynolds. What is this mess?

I learned through diligent research (about three seconds on Google + imdb.com) that Nathan Fillion had been with Ryan on a show I had never watched called Two Guys and a Girl and a Pizza Place.

And while I was in the middle of a “Holy cow my Dad is Santa!”, I accidentally learned that Nathan was in an episode of PG Porn.

For all of you you have never watched PG Pron, you are both lucky and horribly left out of life’s greatest pleasures. And by pleasures I mean uh, satisfaction? or just happiness. Happiness in a non-porn way. Yes, yes.

Nathan is hilarious. PG Porn is hilarious. Both of them together should be illegal. (It already is in Alabama.)

James Gunn, the creator of PG Porn, had worked with Nathan earlier on a horror movie called Slither.

I would be lying if I told you that I had never heard of Slither. I saw it on a rating site a few years ago, and it got a very low score. People there hated it, they told me it was a waste of time. They told me that they had experienced a range of side effects from the movie, ranging from nausea and vomiting, a lack of the will to live, and the occasional divorce.

I skipped watching it, and really haven’t thought of it since.

That is, until I learned that Nathan Fillion was in it. That was a clincher. I had to watch it, so I got on one of those, you know, “watch it here free” sites. No, I’m not going to tell you the site. I want the site to stay active, find it yourself.

So I downloaded Slither with the Firefox plugin DownloadHelper. I re-rendered the video file so that it would be compatible with my Creative Zen video player. I then cuddled in a corner and watched Slither on a 1.8 inch screen.

I’ve really got to warn you, Slither is B-Grade. This means that it is not The Godfather, The Matrix, or The Titanic. It’s not gonna get an Oscar. For anything. It’s dialog is cheesy and there isn’t an inspirational message. It’s a low-budget mess. People grow tentacles, they turn into zombies, and eat basically roadkill.

Here’s a sample of the script.

CUTE TERRIFIED GIRL: “What are we going to do?”

MAN-GOD NATHAN FILLION: “Probably turn into a couple of these mindless {BLEEP}ers.”

CUTE TERRIFIED GIRL: “That’s kind of negative.”

MAN-GOD NATHAN FILLION: “Well, it’s been that sorta day.”

Slither is something you should only consider if you’re already a fan of Nathan Fillion and Elizabeth Banks. (I enjoyed it quite a lot, but that’s because I’m a freak geek.)

In this weird, paranormal journey through a dozen film projects I never knew about, one thing is readily certain. I absolutely love the Internet.