Webupon

To be sure Facebook, one of the most popular social networking sites with over 300 million users according to the site’s own statistics, does have many positive attributes. Users can connect with old friends, expand their social circle rapidly, keep up with community on-goings, and even bridge the cultural divide. However, there is also a dark side to Facebook that should be considered before people strike out into the very public abyss.

I’m not speaking of the horrid events of people connecting naively with dangerous folks, nor the instances of people’s identities being stolen or used falsely. These issues are well covered and documented. My concerns have been with the more subtle issues of any social networking site. These subtleties caused the self initiated termination of my own Facebook page only a few months into the enterprise.

My Facebook experience started out well and I enjoyed it immensely for a short time. I did connect with a few high school friends and my social network did expand quickly. But, then after awhile, about three months or so later, I began to experience the pains that accompany the adventure.

One of the first uncomfortable events was when my coworkers began connecting to my Facebook page. I wasn’t at all sure I wanted folks at work knowing much about my external- from-work life. And, I didn’t really care about theirs at the Facebook detail level. This, in turn, created angst and concerns about appearing unfriendly, ungrateful and distrustful towards my fellow employees. It was difficult not to accept their request to be their friend. How could I explain this without causing bad feelings? The same goes for family members. There really wasn’t anything to hide, but just knowing anyone I accepted as a friend could see and know more about my life that I really wanted to share with just anyone and everyone.

Turning the tables, I began to feel very uncomfortable seeing things about my friends and family members that I felt really weren’t my business, or were aspects of their persons that skewed my once very positive impression of these very people. For starters in this area, my twelve year old grandson became my Facebook friend. Did I really want to see his adolescent goings-on? No matter how fairytale like, did I really want my view of a sweet and innocent all American boy tarnished by this avenue of information flow? I found the answer to be absolutely not.

The same goes for my two grown sons and best-you-could-wish-for daughter-in-law. Their lives are just that, theirs. I need and want to hear about what makes them happy, their good times, their achievements at work, play or school, and their joy brought to them by their children, my grandchildren. I lived through the rough and torrid teenage years, just as my parents had with me. A wonderful result of having your kids grown and out of the house is the release of stress from knowing their everyday actions, emotions, and troubles. Having this back in my home, so to speak, was not at all comforting.

The last set of events that caused me to finally wipe clean my trip through online social networking was one that included the occupants of our rental house. They had become my friends on my Facebook. This young couple has been great at caring for our home, not complaining about any issues, and having kept the yard tidy so as to keep our good standing in the neighborhood. Their only shortcoming has been the constantly late rent payments. I’ve allowed this maybe more than I should, but I figured late rent is better than no rent. However, after viewing their Facebook page for the purpose of keeping up with the happenings of their new baby boy, I began to piece together the fact that they did have money for vacations and big nights out, but somehow not enough money for rent. Just knowing this detail caused huge amounts of stress. I would rather have been left to my imagination that times were tough and that job changes and newborns can put anyone behind on their rent.

So, for me the Facebook experience has taught that sometimes ignorance is in fact bliss and that knowing more than you need to know can just be one more burden on one’s self or a burden that a person can place on others. Like any new invention there are usually great benefits with a few side effects. Social networking sites do have value when used in appropriate ways and managed properly. For myself I’ve chosen to stay in touch the old fashion way by email, letter, phone, or better yet in person. And, I’ve chosen to be honest, but to broadcast an impression of myself that best suits the world at large, and to allow others to do the same for me. Goodbye Facebook.