Webupon

On a lazy day, I decided to practice my “top of mind” skills: today, I’ll type in any acquaintance names in facebook search and I’ll add them to my friend’s list. So I do that, and I add a dozen of new contacts that day.

But wait! One of my friends tells me: hey, don’t like FB. Instead, I have added you on a business networking website (insert_name_here). Doesn’t matter where it was.

I say, great – ignoring the fact that he’s added me there, I go and register. But there is a personality there, registered under my real name, my real employment history, and…guess what…it’s a premium member. I see that someone’s paying 10$ monthly just to pretend it’s me!

Being rich and anonymous, I was really annoyed to see that someone thinks it’s worth it. Okay, I was really annoyed, but also determined to fix that.

Having discovered a fake profile,

1. Alert the site operators that the fake profile is online.

   I’m not an expert, so I wrote something like this: „Hi, there’s my fake profile online. I’ve discovered it today since my business acquaintance has alerted me. If you don’t believe me, I can send you an email from my business address. Please remove it. Thanx.;)”. It took them over a week to remove that fake thing. I was clicking angrily on it for few days, and then it disappeared. After that, I just got the message “Thanks. We removed it”. As if nothing happened.

2. Alert people you already know from real life, and that use the same service.

   I have gathered several contacts the very first day, and they have accepted my invites. Soon enough, the real ME was established on the networking website. Good thing: despite the fact that the fake profile had a satisfactory number of views, it did not have connections.

3. Restrict visibility settings on all public profiles you have.

   Even prior to this relatively harmless ID theft experience, I was reluctant to share too much info online. People list projects, lifestyles, residences, towns they’ve visited…oh, why…I’m too old-fashioned to see the use of that abundance of information. At the end of the day, the challenge in life is the incertainty it brings. Will I hire the right person…hmmm..if I like their CV…they may be a match (oh, please!). If someone’s interested in you, bits of information will suffice. People who approach you with a good reason deserve to be in your network. Serial networkers were never of my interest. In my young days, I’ve collected a few, but then erased them quickly.

4. Don’t befriend whom you don’t know.

   I know, me-too, I have lots of shirtless profiles of male “friends” on facebook, from Ukraine to USA, and it looks damn good. Makes me feel wanted. There are hundreds of them. I got them from other good-looking women, and they’ve spread over our networks like viruses. But maybe those „studs” are mean guys who are just waiting for me to publish some indecent photo…and forward it to my mum…uh-oh! Well, my brother refused to add me as a friend for a long time, because he thought I’ll forward his drunk party photos to our parents. I’m still resisting…for now!

5. Status message: Anonymous and bulletproof

   (And rich, if possible). Ok, ok. Privacy is a cool thing. On my profiles, there’s always one and the same boring photo. With sunglasses, preferably. Noone knows it’s me. In fact, even long-lost friends who Googled me couldn’t be sure that they’ve found the right person. Even when they do find me, it still remains boring. I rarely respond to private messages, I rarely share what’s really happening in my life. I leave crazy status updates like “I feel rich”, “I feel bulletproof” and so on. I leave real things to reality!

6. There’s charm in the unknown

   I never found out who created my fake profile. Wish I could just declare to all my business partners that I don’t know how to start a computer. But I cannot afford myself to have Angelina Jolie’s privileges. So, I continue to walk the fine line between being a real person and being an online person. I still don’t Google my name so often. Instead, I’m putting real-name profiles slowly into hibernation, and creating a brand new me. When your nickname is more famous than the real you, it’s perfection! So, good luck!