Have you ever received a friend request on Facebook or other social networking sites and wondered what that person was thinking? Here are some polite ways to reject the request.
Have you ever received a friend request on Facebook or other social networking sites and wondered what that person was thinking? You don’t want to look like a jerk, bitch, or any other such synonym. Perhaps you do. In that case, do the exact opposite of what I have written below. However, in most cases, those who are part of the online social networking world don’t want to burn a bridge or insult someone.
Scenario 1: You’ve don’t recognize the name or photo of the person requesting your friendship. A quick review of where they live, work, or went to school doesn’t connect with you either. If you don’t want to be friends with the desperate who only want to have hundreds of random people on their list, just say something like this: “It wouldn’t be the first time I forgot someone from my childhood, so I apologize if that’s the case. How do I know you?” If they really don’t know you, they’ll likely not respond. If they actually went to elementary school, then you can accept the request or refer to Scenario 2.
Scenario 2: Someone from your long lost past requests your friendship, but you want nothing to do with them. Kindly send them a note asking how they’re doing, but don’t accept the request. If they respond with questions to you, simply answer the questions but don’t ask any in return. Hopefully, they won’t continue to ask you more questions when you respond again. Don’t be too quick on the replies, as a socially desperate person may try to take advantage of this and want to message back and forth all day.
Scenario 3: A coworker asks to become your friend, but you’d rather keep the relationship professional. Simply state this. If you don’t spend time together outside of work, they should understand. Otherwise, you may consider having a page you befriend coworkers and network connections on and another for friends.
June 1st, 2009 at 10:28 pm
If you’re not trying to completely avoid the person from whom you received a Facebook connection request, and you have something in common with them, you could try to find a Facebook Group that you can both be a part of. Ning.com and LinkedIn.com also work well for semi-public networking while still being somewhat social.
Here’s what I sent to a well-meaning business contact who is (incorrectly) trying to develop business by adding me on Facebook because he received an email from me one time. (We are already connected on a less-personal-than-Facebook social media Ning.com site, and this was the medium I used to send the note.)
“I wanted to let you know that I’ve received a couple of requests now to connect with you on Facebook. Thanks for the consideration. So that you know that I’m not ignoring you, I want to share with you the Personal Policy I’ve chosen to adopt concerning social media, and that is this: Since the personal nature of Facebook can include Personal and Family Safety and Privacy concerns, I reserve a very limited connections policy for Facebook; while I allow a much more open connection policy on other sites, like this one.”
By the way, I got the idea that having a Personal Policy keeps you from having to explain why you’re saying “no” from a great little book, “How to say no without feeling guilty” by Patti Breitman & Connie Hatch (ISBN-10: 076790379X | ISBN-13: 978-0767903790)