Internet. What are They Talking About??

Image via Wikipedia

 Many people are rapidly becoming aware of the fact that the “Internet culture” has its own language, customs, rules, ect. that it goes by. I have compiled this list of all the major and “generally accepted” rules that have been developed that the mainstream Internet culture member goes by. Please note that you can find these rules for yourself by searching Urbandictionary.com, Wikipedia.com, or similar websites.

 I have compiled for you an exhaustive list of the top/most accepted 103 rules. These rules are self explanitory, and any questions about the rules are answered by the rules. If you do not agree please see Rules 103, 96, 54, 49, and 59.

 The exact orgin of the rules is in dispute, some say the chans, some say giai online, sill others something awful. What is agreed upon is that the rules are followed, almost cult like, across the communitys. Rules like rule one and rule 14 are heavily enforced. The rules, are of course, modified to adap to the specific community they exist on. Example, if one were to find this on a chan, the statment would be similar to “Anon, go and rule 59 yourself; or an hero, which is the pesudo way of asking somone to kill themself.

Rule 1. Forum based terminology used to ask for a picture of any person, usually female being described or talked about in a subject, origin:

Rule 2. If a rule restricts something that has no conceivable point, it will be broken.

Rule 3. Rules 1 and 2 cannot be “Do Not Talk About FightClub!” because then you’ll be talking about *********.

Rule 4. A man who is single, and has expressed intentions of meeting a woman who has particular traits, can cite rule 4. This rule means his friends must greenlight an introduction between the two if said friends mention this desirable babe.

Rule 5. At some point every conversation of over an hour will involve your mom in some way shape or form

Rule 6. All general statements are false.

Rule 7. Generally defined as “Don’t take the piss.” Often quoted as an in-joke, to someone making a foolish suggestion or just taking liberties.

Rule 8. For females; Used while persons are camming and one gets a phone call. That person has to show their boobs. For males; If it exists tangibly, it can be snorted.

Rule 9. There is no rule 11.

Rule 10. Don’t be a Gay. This Rule applies to both regular conversation and the internet.

Rule 11. See Rule 9.

Rule 12. “Never date a co-worker.” From the all-important (and sometimes hypocritical) rules of Leroy Jethro Gibbs of NCIS.

Rule 13. In situations in which a temporary set of rules are necessary, Rule 13 shall always be “No one shall say bad things about another person”. In addition to establishing a standard level of civility, it also forces the situation to have a minimum level of structure by requiring at least 12 other rules be created. Also defined as: Nonsensical, uncited, or otherwise incomplete arguments may be immediately recognized as trolls if the first party immediately responds with “Freaking Google It” when further explanation is requested. It can safely be assumed the first party doesn’t know what they’re talking about and Rule 14 may be invoked.

Rule 14. Do not argue with trolls – it means that they win.

Rule 15. Sex >>>>> Food > Porn > Everything else

Rule 16. Rule 16 states that there are no females on the internet – specifically in role-playing games and chat rooms.

Expanded Rule 16 states that:
a) All internet men are men
b) All internet women are really men
b) All internet children are policemen

Rule 17. Every win eventually fails.

Rule 18. Do not watch porn with a girl

Rule 19. A rule created in 1903 by Merrick Gjertson stating that there can only be one girl per internet.

Rule 20. If someone is 1337, lerk3r, noob, or tr0ll, and do not know a mentioned rule “e.g. Rule 34, Rule 2, etc.”, they must refer to rule 8

Rule 21. The rule that all numbers pertaining to a rule are completely and utterly random.

Rule 22. Though numbers pertaining to rules are completely and utterly random some numbers are recognized associated with one rule.

Recognized as a clarification of Rule 21.

Rule 23. Never spill a Marine’s coffee if you want to live.

(Originated from S.A. Gibbs’ incomplete, unwritten list of rules, per NCIS)

Rule 24. If it exists, people fear it. No exeptions

Rule 25. Generally accepted internet rule that states that Anonymous can be a horrible, uncaring monster, so prepare yourself for the concequences of posting a new topic. (sometimes refered to as rule 6)

Rule 26. If something is a phrase, you can abbreviate it.

Rule 27. If music is playing, you must dance.

Rule 28. There will always be more f***ed up sh*t than what you just saw.

Rule 29. If you are good at something, someone is better.

Rule 30. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

Rule 31. Meaning “Tits or GTFO (Get The F**k Out)”. Usually found on sites known as 4chan, 2chan, ect

Rule 32. An internet rule that states that if it can be said, it can be said with a picture.

Rule 33. When in doubt it’s a man. This internet rules applies to guessing the gender of a forum, chatroom, or instant messenger user.

Rule 34. If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.

Rule 35. An addendum to Internet Rule #34, which states “If there is not porn of it, porn will be made of it.”

Rule 36. If it exists, someone has a fetish for it. No exceptions.

Rule 37. If it exists, there is a conspiracy behind it.  “37 is the only two digit number in base 10 with the following property: The difference between the two digits equals the square root of the difference between the number itself and the least common multiple of the two digits.”

Rule 38. If there is a type of porn, there is a website for it.

Rule 39. There is Furry porn of it. No exceptions.

Rule 40. newfags don’t know what rule 36 is.

Rule 41. The widely accepted rule of mentality that witty retorts, good comebacks, and the right thing to say will always come ten minutes or more after you need it.

Rule 42. When you are being followed by a number.

Rule 43. You can find anything on the Internet if you are willing to look for it long enough.

Rule 44. If something exists you can find it or a fake of it on the internet. There is no exception to this rule.

Rule 45. Anyone on the Internet going on record stating that they are against a form of piracy are pirates themselves.

If you’re on the Internet and know about piracy, odds are that you do it in some way, shape or form such has illegal: Music, Movies, TV Shows, Anime, Softwares, PC Games, Console Games, ROMs, Operating Systems, etc…

These people could be defined as hypocrites for judging people on doing something that they do themselves. The only explanation of this behavior would be fear of getting caught or fear of judgments.

Rule 46. Rule 46 Clearly States That, The Only Rules That Matter are, 34, 35, 36, 38, 42, 46 and 88.

Rule 47. The pool is always closed.

Rule 48. No matter what it is, it WILL be on the internet at least two weeks before it is released to the public.

Rule 49. Commonly known rule that states that all Rules must be read thoroughly before posting in any forum, chat, or Instant Messaging system. Example:Guy 1: “Dude, I just came from Fight Club…”
Guy 2: “Rules 1 and 2.”
Guy 1: “What?”
Guy 2: “Rule 49.”

Rule 50. It needs moar Desu. No exceptions.

Rule 51. Anonymous is a virgin by default.

Rule 52. If something goes wrong, Ebaums did it.

Rule 53. Women who are obnoxiously attracted to you have a penis or STD.

Rule 54. A rule stating that if someone is called evil, but has no horns, the person who named the person evil shall be punched in the face.

Rule 55. Man tits are always going to be touched. End of story, if you have them, they are going to grabbed.

Rule 56. CP is awwwright, but DSFARGEG will get you b&.

Rule 57. Rule 45 is a lie.

Rule 58. Anonymous does not “buy”, he downloads.

Rule 59. If you know the rules off the top of your head, you are encouraged to kill yourself.

Rule 60. You cannot divide by zero.

Rule 61. There is always furry porn of it.

Rule 62. A colloquialism of Alcoholics Anonymous. Rule 62 is “don’t take yourself too damn seriously.”

Rule 63. Rule 63 is a rule of the internet that reads as follows: “For any given male character, there is a female version of that character.” This rule’s exceptions are only in the instance that A: the male character is already so androgynous that a female version would be basically the same, or B: the female version hasn’t been drawn yet.

Rule 64. If it exists, Tony Stark was able to build it in a cave, with a box of scraps. (This is a common inside refrence to a famous line in teh movie Iron Man. It’s sometimes used on 4chan)

Rule 65. Everything has been cracked and pirated.

Rule 66. Even one positive comment about Japanese things can make you a weeaboo.

Rule 67. One does not simply shoop da whoop into Mordor.

Rule 68. The internet makes you stupid.

Rule 69. No sex allowed.

Rule 70. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky

Rule 71. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.

Rule 72. You must have pictures to prove your statement.

Rule 73. If something naughty or unacceptable is said on a “safe” website and nobody understands it, you do NOT explain it.

Rule 74. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON’T.

Rule 75. There is always a female version of a male character, no exceptions.

Rule 76. There is always a shemale version of a female character, NO exceptions.

Rule 77. If there is no shemale version of a female character, a shemale version will be created.

Rule 78. An internet rule so ruley, that it shall never be written.

Rule 79. That’s not mud.

Rule 80. If it’s gonna be hot, you don’t need a jacket”

Rule 81. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND.

Rule 82. The invocation of any ideology or its principles, such as feminism, will attract trolls who validate the necessity of said ideology.

Rule 83. Arguing with any troll for any length of time will in turn make you a troll as well. There are no exceptions to this rule.

Rule 84. Rule 87 is true.

Rule 85. All buttons, valves, switches, latches, must be pushed.

Rule 86. Any and all buttons, valves, switches, latches, or anything else may be pushed or turned more than once until one is certain that all buttons, valves, switches, latches, etc, has been　pushed at least once each.

Rule 87. Rule 84 is false.

Rule 88. A rule of the internet that states “If it exists, there is a furry version of it.”

Rule 89. If you’re a teen or preteen girl on YouTube and you take requests or dares, sooner or later, someone will ask you to show your feet. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Rule 90. Adding the prefix man to anything to make it more masculine makes it more feminine.

Rule 91. Everything is better with zombies.

Rule 92. Someone is wrong on the internet; Namely, you.

Rule 93. The rule which states the rules cannot affect themselves or other rules unless the rule specifically mentions it, meaning you cannot envoke rule 34 or rule 6 on the rules.

Rule 94. Saying no offence does not take away the fact that you said something that you intended offence for in your mind. Those who say this are tools, and try to hide the fact they are tools.

Rule 95. Everyone on the internet has an IQ of 150 or higher.

Rule 96. The internet is always right. No exceptions

Rule 97. The internet is really, really great, FOR PORN.

Rule 98. If at first you don’t succeed, “kill” the guy who did.

Rule 99. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.

Rule 100. There are already so many rules that no one needs to make any more of them.

Rule 101. Anonymous is legion.

Rule 102. No matter how many remakes there are of the original, no matter how good the remake is, the original is the best. This works for both the internet and real life.

Rule 103. The rules may not be ignored or defied in any circumstance.