Guide to The Breakup Aftershock

So you’ve seen it all. You’ve met that cute girl who works at the supermarket across the street and you decided that you wanted to get to know her better. You soon met her parents, her best friend, her dog, her best guy friend and just about everyone in her life. Then, you noticed she was a little over dramatic at times, way to clingy and just about as sane as the Coco Puffs bird. You decided to break it off before you were both in the mental asylum and now your faced with an army of people who curse your name. This little article will tell  you how to deal with that. Buckle up kiddo, this is war.

Step 1: Social Networking our equivalent to Hitler. 

It does not seem like it but your tweets, your status updates even your pictures can betray you. First Facebook. You need not draw attention to your self by changing your relationship status right away. That would only cause your notifications to increase exponentially and unless you are a considerably lonely person we need to avoid that. However, what you do is stay off of Facebook for awhile. Give it a few  days, making sure your not going to patch things up with him/her (the person you dated, lets call them blurbs). Then slowly defriend people that seem close to that person. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! By slowly defriending the people who are close to the blurb you decrease the amount of naysayers when you eventually change your relationship status. Even if they are your close friends if they are close to the blurb you need to defriend them. Twitter and most of the others are usually harmless but remember as the the years past technology gets more and more complicated. It would be far less dangerous if we were still throwing rocks at each other. 

Step 2: The Parent Trap.

        Remember that movie? Ah Lindsay Lohan…but i digress. YOU CANNOT HAVE CONTACT WITH PARENTS. Even parents that seem to like you are off limits. Their child will always come first and sometimes they will inform them that you have come in contact with them in anyway. Delete phone number, email addresses, sky writing anything that ties you to them to prevent accidental calls or spam email(<— Sometimes it’s on purpose). 

Step 3: Cover all snow tracks

We’ve all had that one blurb who keeps calling over and over and over. blocking their number is ok, but they might want to come over then to check on you. You have to stand your ground. Don’t let them in your house and make sure you stand firm and do not waver. You have to show them you are stronger without them. The jealousy thing does not work trust me. Don’t find someone else to make the blurb jealous. Take care of your self first. Once you have completely moved on with your own life you can do it up like a power ranger. 

Well I have given you everything in my arsenal. GO out my young soldier, you social butterfly. You are ready to win!