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“Justin Marsh is I luv ths gurl!!1” If I were the majority of the facebook masses then that could very easily be my facebook status at any given time. I’ve talked about love before and I’ve talked about how the level of English proficiency is dropping faster than the red headed step child of a drunken Irish man. This time I’m more interested in complaining about how much information the random facebooker is sharing that just shouldn’t be shared.

First, a short aside. If you’re going to act like you’re talking to me in your status, awesome! Just delete the word ‘is’…it isn’t that hard.

Now, facebook is a great tool. It allows us to interact easily and quickly using an interface that is easy to use and convenient. It also allows us to post way too much personal information and let loose many things that shouldn’t be let loose. What makes you think I care that you found your true love? Well, I might if you hadn’t also found ‘the love of your life’ two weeks ago.

People post things on facebook like the rest of the world will never see them. Those pictures you post on facebook aren’t that big of a secret. Those parents that nose their way into your business may just see them…and then they talk to each other. Parents talk to each other! What a concept!! “Jenny…I see you here…I’m wondering why your topless and doing body shots off your boyfriend?” Oh, family meeting. How fun!

With the information on any given persons facebook I know their name and where they go to school. That alone is enough to rape them senseless. I also often know how old they are, who their friends are, what sports they’re in and, in some cases, their precise class schedule. “justen, ur stuped only my friends cn c my pro1” Those people that post those ridiculous spam messages on your wall don’t do it because they think their funny. They do it because they decided to log into a phishing site that stole their password. This means that their information and the information of all their friends could be floating around the internet just as easily as the clouds float through the sky.

I shall point out some things acceptable for sharing, even if not necessary: 
Elizabeth L. is loving her new haircut!
Sammie T. is so freeking bored!!!!!
Daniel A. is changing his status too much…
Justin S. is done with classes.

Things not acceptable because I don’t give a crap and you’re trying to get someone to ask you about it:

A. L. is gonna have to agree with the ignorant overgeneralization that yes, boys do suck.
M. O. is thinking.
M. O. is watching tv…. thinking.
K. P. ** i dont believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now~!! ♥ .
E. C. knows you’re not going to like wat i did. truly am sorry.

Now, in recap, the world sees what you do on facebook and you shouldn’t put anything on facebook that you wouldn’t want your grandmother to see. Also, personal things are personal and the world shouldn’t know. If you had a wicked awesome drinking party, some great sex or have found the third love of your life this month…I don’t care. The world doesn’t care. Actually, that’s a lie. Many people care. Cops love to give minors tickets for being idiots. Sports teams love to suspend people for doing dumb crap, old disgusting men love to stock young girls (and sometimes young boys) and your mother, well, you know your mother.

“thn dun lok jstn!@lolol” It’s hard to not look at the things clogging up my home page, especially when you update your status every thirty seconds. Now, go drink from the bottles under your sink.