Although most won’t admit it, more and more people are turning to the personals in hopes of meeting someone. In many ways, it is a fun and adventurous alternative to the club and bar scene. At least a quarter of all adult relationships have begun through newspaper and internet personal ads and dating agencies and even that could be a very modest estimation given that many people still have reservations about admitting that they turn to this avenue to find love. While many remain somewhat skeptical about going this route to finding love there are as many as 500 million personal ads and profiles on the net. That many people can’t possibly be insane! And this number does not include those with their own webpages and those with profiles on social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook and those who frequent the chatrooms and other various online forums.
But, just with any method of finding Mr./Mrs. Right, whether you meet at a party or club or church or through mutual friends and acquaintances, there are pitfalls to using the personals. It is very easy to misread and misunderstand a personal profile or ad. Some ads get mistakenly placed in the wrong sections, leading to the wrong kind of responses. The wrong kind of photo can also lead to an unwanted type of response. Ads with too many words or not enough can be ignored and generate no responses at all.
1. Be absolutely clear as to what you are looking for. Before submitting the ad proofread it to ensure that there is no misleading information. You can’t be too clear regarding what you’re looking for. At the same time, however, try not to sound too blunt or direct as this could scare away a potential. Don’t sound angry. Just choose your words carefully so that there’s no way someone can misunderstand your intentions.
2. Watch your grammar. Don’t sound overly proper with a lot of big words but avoid sounding like someone who never completed grammar school. Avoid using typical chatroom and text message abbreviations and shorthand such as @ for “at”, u for “you”, r for “are” and n e for “any”. Do not use ALL CAPS! If the website you’re using offers different text and format options use italics to emphasize a particular word. You want to make it appear that you took some time on your ad or profile.
3. Be descriptive and provide details about yourself. Don’t make the ad so long that no one will want to read it but don’t make it too short and sweet, either. Just typing in “Hi, seeking a long-term relationship. Waiting for your reply” isn’t going to earn you too many responses. Describe yourself. Tell people your hobbies and interests. List at least four but no more than six. List at least three personality traits that best describe you.
4. Try to sound upbeat and positive. Feel free to mention your recent relationship or marriage but avoid long detailed descriptions concerning why it ended and avoid making unnecessary comments, positive or negative, about the ex-partner. If you are widowed and the marriage was going great when your spouse passed away it’s okay to talk a little about him/her but still try to avoid writing more than 4 or 5 lines about him/her.
5. Post photos. Most people who browse ads almost never respond to those without photos. And post photos that are of clean taste. If you’re seeking a serious, long-term relationship avoid posting racy, sexually provocative photos that would give readers the wrong idea concerning what you’re looking for. A simple photo in swimsuit at the beach is okay though still not fully recommended. Post no more than one group photo of you with others and, of course, do NOT, under any circumstances, post photos of you and your ex- or deceased partner.
6. If you’re using an online agency that has sections for different types of personals, i.e., erotic personals, platonic friendships, relationships, etc., make sure that your ad is being posted in the section that best conforms with what you’re seeking. If you’re seeking a relationship make sure your ad is posted under relationships.
