Webupon

At the beginning of this year, realizing my boyfriend’s dvd obsession was going to drive us into poverty, I decided to join Columbia House.  I thought we’d save some money, be able to get more for our money, all of that.  I had no idea what I was getting into.

Now while I will say that it is worth it to order from them when they run free shipping sales, the rest of the time you can usually get it for the same price or cheaper at amazon by virtue of Columbia House’s high shipping costs.  So first problem, savings not that great.

Second problem, they suck at websites.  Recently, when I was trying to place a larger order, I kept having to sign back in, and while I was browsing, my cart got emptied or restored to an older version 4 separate times.  And they need to resolve something, because right now when I try to log in, my trusty Firefox lets me know:

When you add the exception, Firefox’s warning says it all:

If they can’t keep a valid security certificate, what else can’t they do….

Security aside, my next problem is back orders.  Sure, you have to expect it in certain circumstances, but the experience I had was just silly.  It was a Director’s Selection I forgot to decline.  For the uninitiated, when you join a club like this, they offer you something periodically, and if you don’t say no, they ship it to you and bill you for it or charge the card on file.  BMG Music works the same way, and I’m sure other clubs have functioned in similar manners.  BMG and Colombia House are affiliated now if I’m not mistaken…but BMG is a million times better…I’ve been with them since 04, no complaints.

But anyway, back to the back order.  So I forgot to decline The Bucket List, but I figured I’d get it anyway instead of going through the headache of shipping it back because:
A) They’d already charged my card for it.
B) I wanted to see the movie anyway.
C) One DVD closer to cancellation.

What I didn’t know is that there was a back order on the movie.  Two months later, when I still hadn’t received the movie, I tried to cancel the order, and when I was unable to do that on the website, I sent them this message:

Recently, I didn’t decline a director’s selection for the movie the bucket list.  I want to see it, so I figured I might as well get it.  It’s now two months later.  It has been back ordered, and I do not want it anymore.  Since I’ve had to wait this long, I’m going to get it elsewhere.  I tried to find a way to cancel the order and had no luck.  Please cancel it for me.

Thank you,

Jena Dikes

The response I got back was comedy gold just for the “Did you even read my email?” factor.

Thank you for your e-mail message.

Account #***********09

We shipped THE BUCKETLIST because we did not receive your response to this Director’s Selection by the date specified.  If you do not wish to keep this selection, you may return it, unopened, at our expense.  Just
write “refused, return to sender” on the package, and place it in the mail.  When we receive your return we will apply a credit to your account or the credit card you used.

We shipped the item noted below on the date indicated beside each item. Most shipments are delivered promptly, but orders shipped via standard delivery may take up to four weeks from the ship date to arrive.  Items shipped using Rush Delivery should arrive within 5 business days.  If you have not received your order within the appropriate time, please let us know.

THE BUCKETLIST          7/17/08

To ensure that you receive only the selections you wish to purchase please make sure to respond to each Director’s Selection prior to the date on your Order card, in your Director’s Selection Announcement e-mail, or on our Website.  If we do not receive your reply by the specified date, we will send you the Director’s Selection.  You may respond to your Director’s Selection by returning your Order Card, visiting our Website at www.columbiahouse.com, or calling our automated service at 800-262-2001.

If we may be of further service, please contact us at http://www.columbiahouse.com.

Sincerely,
Nina *****
Customer Service

And the funny part, the movie shipped then.  The “order” (if you call a non-decline that) was back in May (they’ve since pulled the actual date from my account), and the movie didn’t really ship until 7/21/08, but it left me wondering, if I didn’t say anything, would it have ever shipped?  They charged my account again when it shipped, which was super confusing, because I distinctly remember being charged before, but after scouring my bank account transactions I came to the conclusion that they discreetly canceled the charge because of how long it took.  Not a fun hour spent searching though.

Continuing on, the next problem, customer service.  While I’ve never had the pleasure of speaking to a live Columbia House representative, (and I’m not sure I would want to with gems like our little friend, Nina) I can say it’s near impossible to get one on the line.  When I first joined, I had a problem with the transaction (which we’ll get to), so I called in.  I held for three and a half hours, never spoke to anyone, and eventually gave up.  I didn’t have a Columbia House account number yet, so that may have put me in some super delayed queue, but I am still a person and 3.5 hours is ludicrous.  Here’s a clip from my AT&T phone records:

That 11 min call afterward was me calling my mother, another Columbia House member to tell her what I had been dealing with.  She canceled her membership based on my experience.  She had already fulfilled her purchase agreement so she could do that penalty free.  She had been a member for probably about 8-10 years, and honestly, I don’t know how she put up with it.

Next problem, which was my reason for holding for 3 hours is that Columbia House should never be trusted with any financial accounts you rely on for groceries, medical expenses or anything else.  I recently placed an order with them for some movies for my boyfriend for Christmas.  I spent a fair amount, they were having a free shipping sale, which again, is the only time it’s worthwhile to buy from them.  It also happens to be the last full price DVD I’m obligated to buy, so this may well be my last order from them.  I spent $187.41, and here’s what they did to my bank account:

That’s right, there are four, count ‘em, four separate transactions.  In fairness, this is better than what they did to me on my first order.  You may notice that one transaction, the $178.23 is a credit rather than debit.  This is likely because people tore into them for what they used to do.  The separate transactions are run for separate shipments.  On my very first order, they ran the order total for each shipment.  I feel the need to emphasize that they ran the total more than once.  That order was only $50, and they only ran it twice, but it was still an extra $50 that was withheld from me without my authorization.  Now while these crazy transactions remain in a pending state and never clear without being revised to the correct amount, if you are shorter on funds, as I was when I placed that initial order, a floating $50 can be the difference between having groceries and card declined.

Between all of these factors and experiences, I will be cancelling as soon as I receive all of my movies from my most recent order (two movies are back ordered, oh dear…)

Pray I can get a person to cancel my account in the end, because you have to call them to do so…

UPDATE:  I gave them too much credit by thinking they had made any serious changes to the way they process transactions.  Take a look at what I saw in my bank account today:

That’s right, the credit is gone and now there’s five separate transactions totaling $263.99.  That’s only $76.48 more than what I authorized them to take.  So they’ve run approximately 141% of the original authorized transaction.  That seems reasonable for any company, right?

Perhaps it’s practices like these that have earned Columbia House this rating:

Yes, it’s hard to get a good rating from the BBB (Better Business Bureau), even amazon has a B- but you’ve got to be pretty messed up to get an F.  One of those things I wish I knew before I ever placed that initial order.  If you want to see the BBB page for yourself, click here.

I restate, I will be cancelling.  Just as soon as my boyfriend gets his movies.