Spammers

Hey spammers here is an article just for you:

 
-STOP getting my hopes up with bogus emails. I’m tired of seeing
a new mail in my inbox and then discovering that it’s just another offer for nuvo ring or eharmony.

-STOP calling me at three in the morning with automated messages in spanish (I don’t even speak spanish. At least not well enough to understand whatever the hell it is that you’re selling)

- STOP trying to be my friend on facebook and screwing up my page with your crummy( and sometimes obscene messages)

-STOP announcing my business to the world. If I googled skanky halloween costumes on amazon *once*, I don’t need to be reminded everytime I login to go shopping that I’m “interested” in skanky Halloween costumes. No I do not want any reccommendations amazon. I am a free thinking individual, and I think I can manage to shop online
without being reminded what I was looking at last time.

-STOP arguing with me.

- STOP infecting my computer with viruses. I am too lazy to back up my harddrive, and am too cheap to buy and external drive. I don’t want to have to make an extra emergency trip to  Best Buy and do a payday loan (See other article) just so I can get another laptop. Because you destroyed this one with your spam viruses and Trojans. You have no soul spammers honestly.

-STOP trying to take down twitter with useless viscious pranks. People don’t care that you nerds found a way to put popups on twitter in twenty-five words or less. What are you going to try to take down next? MySpace?

-Most of all STOP trying to recruit me. There are actually websites that will pay you one penny for every ad that you click on. They will also pay you to give out your email and other personal details. (This might be why I get so much spam now. What can I say. I like money.)

Overall, I’m tired of aggressive  advertising on the internet. You’d think they’d learn that if your customers are pissed off, they are not going to buy any of your products. Legitimate ads on sites like Hulu are okay.
] Tell me in 15 seconds or less why I should care what you’re selling, and I’ll be more willing to buy. Otherwise back up off me spammers. Seriously. I don’t want to go postal on your behind. But I might.