“If You Don’t Send This to 10 People”: No Thanks

Thu, Aug 13, 2009, by Neznanec

E-mail

Chain letters – do they make you laugh or cry?

So what, I’ll be cursed for the rest of my life! Big deal. I just hate those chain letters. They are even worse than spam if you ask me. But on the other hand they can be quite hilarious and that’s what I’m going to write about.

I’m sure that you’ve received chain letter at least once. There are 1001 types of chain letters, I could refer to the phrase from Balkan – “100 people, 100 wonders”. The content of letters can be anything, about love, charity, friends… At the beginning of the letter you can see a short (sometimes it’s long as a book) paragraph about what the sender wants to tell you (OK, this doesn’t bother me much… so far). After that there is another paragraph about what else does that person wants to tell you (here I become attentive to grammar and nonsenses), for example:
Because the person sent you this email this means that he/she loves you. You are very important friend and something special.This world would be empty without you :’( :’( :’(
Blah blah blah…

OK, I know that majority of you (all 6 person who have actually read this) knows the content of chain letters so I won’t write about it anymore. And now, THE GOLDEN RULE OF CHAIN LETTERS: If your chain letter doesn’t have something like “if you don’t send this to __ people, your life will be cursed / your partner will leave you / your friends will leave you / you will loose all your money / your dog will die”, then you and your family are doomed. Not to mention that your afterlife will be nothing else than eternal misery. Yes, just because you didn’t type that sentences in your chain mail :)

Back to the criticism of chain letters:

1. Structure:
– on a level of a kindergarten kid, looks simple and boring, full of colours
– the font is usually Comic Sans, again – on a level of a kindergarten kid… Why is this font so popular? I don’t get it…
– too big spaces between lines and words
– some unnecessary words are pointed out or coloured

2. Grammar:
– disaster
– wrong or no punctuation
– incorrectly written words, slang
– see the first paragraph again

3. Facts about chain letters:
– stupid people send them
– naive people believe them
– people who have too much time read this letters while other people get satisfied by laughing at their stupidity

4. General Opinion:
– disgrace
– somehow funny but also sad
– what a waste of space on email account
– other: _____________ (if you have any other idea)

Are people actually afraid of sanctions which are listed in letters? Or is it just a hope of a better tomorrow? I personally don’t believe in this stuff because – after all – you can tell your friends face-to-face that you like them and buy them a drink or take your partner to a dinner, there is no need to send them an intimidating letter! It’s true that sometimes it’s hard to tell that personally but you don’t need to threaten them with consequences because of that.

Where was I… Oh, yes…

IF YOU DON’T SEND THIS ARTICLE TO AT LEAST 30 PEOPLE, YOU WILL BE MISERABLE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, YOUR MONEY WILL BE GONE, ALL YOUR RELATIVES WILL DIE IN 1 YEAR (yes, even your pets… if you have none it will be even worse!), CHUCK NORRIS WILL BE SENT TO ROUNDHOUSE-KICK YOU AND, THE WORST ONE, ALL MEAT WILL DISAPPEAR FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH (translation for vegetarians: all types of vegetables will disappear)!

Spend the rest of your life in happiness :)

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3 Comments For This Post

  1. joco Says:

    i agree with author! good chritic!

  2. marinalovesyou Says:

    funny! thank you!
    i hate those things…

  3. thestickman Says:

    Ha! Exactly!!
    -found this via ‘redgage.com’. Funny write! C’ya!

    -thestickman

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