Webupon

The invention of the internet by Al Gore in 1994 revolutionized the

modern world, by providing companies and private individuals the ability to send

information through “cyber space” faster than the Millennium Falcon in Star Wars .

Everything pure is eventually infiltrated by corruption. Have we forgotten about Adam,

Eve, the snake, and an apple?

Recently I have been getting emails with the title “Your Funds are

Available” or “(insert name of country here) Lottery” Scam artists in Africa and in the

United Kingdom are claiming that they need my help to collect all this money by me

depositing there check in my account and then sending them a small amount back. It

turns out the check you deposit is a fake, and the amount you send to the person in need is

his profit. Like my grandmother always told me “If it sounds too good chances are it is.”

Not one day after I got that e-mail and deleted it I saw on the news a Monica Lewinsky

look-a-like crying because all of her money was gone. She had been scammed. Oprah

probably would invite her on her show if she didn’t already have the rest of the year

booked. It is hard to have free time on the Oprah show. What with giving away homes,

and cars, and everything else she gives away. It is sad that some one would accept money

from a complete stranger without even wondering if it was reliable or not. Her momma

raised a fool.

Another set of emails that have been unfortunately been flooding my inbox

like millions of locust to an Australian farms, is a Herbal Supplement that guarantees to

allow my penis to grow 10%. A bunch of bollocks is what it is. God gave me everything

I’ve got, and by God I plan on keeping it that way. If it really worked then why would a

company be sending me all of these emails thru others rather than a direct contact? I have

an idea, I will send the company a check for a large settlement that I have recently

acquired, and all they have to do is deposit it and send me a small portion of the money

back. I think that 10% of the amount would be acceptable.

Chain mail letters were popular with snail mail, and somehow chain mail

“upgraded” to emails. I hate it when someone sends me a letter with some overly-hyped

spiritual or inspiring message with a note on the bottom telling me “You need to forward

this to 10 others so that a Guardian Angel will watch over you so you do not hit a deer

crossing the highway like in this story.” New flash Aunt Jane (where most of the chain

emails I get come from) I already hit a deer and totaled my car!!!

now i know your not listening to me when i talk to you at

thanksgiving!

Not all emails are bad. I am sending out pictures of Thanksgiving to my

family, and emailing my family the wedding information they have requested. The only

thing you can do to get rid of those annoying emails that put your balls in a vice grip is to

simply hit delete when you do not like what you see in the subject line… oh and say five

“Hail Mary’s.”